PeeDeeExx; City of Moss, Black Hoodies scurrying between the rain to house shows. Voodoo donuts, the funny little nook in the wall koolaid and bacon donut shop where the lost little Girl Show played in 2007 and I met that long tall donut baker Miss Emma DeB, that place is 4 times its size now and they run this town.
We Read to Floyds Malt Shop, which i was about to claim looked like a soda fountain but no it didnt. Oh my sweet Jeebuzz Floyd, who i remember being dressed as a 1920 soda jerk with a waxed twirled mustache but He had allready put me in to a mental state from pouring us the hardest hitting mason jars of wine possible. How the heck do pour an extra hard wine ? Floyd picked up a TIME BOMB and when i offered to Sign it he snapped “CANT YOU TELL IM HORRIFICALLY BUSY ?!?!” But he mixed me so many full throttle wines hat he musta dug us. rite ?
Speaking of not being this obliverated since the Plett Chalett Ranch, While reeling from PDX coffee shop wine I stole somebuddies bread off their table and dipped it in their soup before swallowing it whole to sop up some of those drinks.
As soon as i snapped out of it I pardoned myself to the owner of the bread who turned out to be Caseys mom ! (soup belonged to her step dad, Thanks for the Soup toast Plet senior ♥ —————
My Ultra Big Sister, and Red Head, who very briefly had a punk dulcimer band with me in PDX in 2007, Beth X, grabbed me at the end of the Read and Told me I was following her to PDX Sopping Wet Vampire Hang out THE LOVE CRAFT CLUB. Me and Beth Kicked it with Rainy Baker AKA DESTROYED FOR COMFORT aka Why Im not an Artist Zine. We all ate heaping plates of Chicken Seitan and Seitan Smoked meat and Seitan Nachos and Seitan seitan seitan. All this time Casey was working the other side of the dance floor in a tiny thin white dress and her blonde pony tail surrounded by pale girls with black hair and tattoos fawning over her.
One of them came up to me and Introduced herself as a sister named Katey Hurricane, Secret Mother of GG! She kept flashing her one missing fang tooth cuz she couldnt stop grinning with her hair in her mouth and hanging out front of Club Love with me smoking in the down pour. Cupping a dripping wet hand around her clove cigarette just barely keeping it dry the bleery bu eyed little darling told me she was excited about all the messy BX09 protien drug cooking jokes in my book. pulling my ear close as rain drenched us over and over and we where whisper yelling over the patter of rain on out heads she told me she could totally synthesize an equivilant RNA based mimic protien drug with the imptressive sounding laborATORY SHE had hidden in a little rail road appartment a mile from here. She leaned in closewith her eyes big and hair in her mouth stuffing her hand in her mouth cuz it was hanging open, “Have you heard of BX13 ? I can Make a batch of it powerful enuff to turn every mouse in Oregon is to a little clock work mouse !! I can turn all the mice is to clockwerk mice to rule us all and dance and all i need would be 2 lbs of peyotee and 200 sudafeds. i got the rest of the stuff i need back at my place.”
I told her I’d get Plett to drive us to the Rite aid when the bar closed. by then Plett had been completely covered in goth girls and disapeared. Attempting to buy Katey Hurricane a Bourbon resulted in the skinny purple haired got bartender shouting that “Hell no !” and saying i was too tipsy to serve; barely able to stand. I proceeded to stand up on on leg and pull my other leg up behind my back and with my free hand I threw all her straws at her while telling her that I hate her and no one likes her and she is very ugly and has man hands. the skinny purple haired girl at Club lovecraft; she is ruining a perfectly good seitan death rock cafe, she owes me at least 5$ in tips back.
“Yeah everyone hates that wench.” casey agreed. ” she was Kicking everybuddy out of the washrooms in the middle of having sex. No one has ever liked her, she is unlikeable.”
After then I dont remember what was going on exactly… I thought we were going to sythesise RNZ narco amphatamine deliriants in a squatted box car. I found out about some make outs i did by reading blogs the next morning. I remember at one point we where at a 7/11 20 miles SE of the flashing green neon welcome Moose sign and I managed to flirt the casheir in to letting me have a coffee cup full of free chili cheese. i accidently drank the whole thing over the next hour cuz there are horrificly no burrito places anywhere 20 miles SE of PDX at 2am.
Me and Plett somehow extracated ourselves from all of PDX’s darkest vices, escaped the PDX city limits out the back of a farm run by Miss Flora and Miss Fauna, Stopped at AutoZone for new extra strength windshield wipers, and stayed awake for days driving thousands of miles deeper and deeper in to the darkest crevices between the towering light eating Oreganonian Mountains. The sky was black and the rain a deluge all the way up to the califurnyeh border. Once we crossed it was shockingly beautiful to admire the califurnyeh weather screen. the pummeling of rain was exited from as drastic a a fish jumping out of water except sideways. sudenly it was dry gray skies and dried grass and we had just crossed the veil in to Califurnyeh.