Day 7 // The Seattle Hills // The Vermillion Room


Day 7  The Seattle Hills // The  Vermillion Room

13 authors read in an order selected by drawing playing cards from a hat. Calvin “Lord Kelvin” Gimplefich called out the playing cards from a music stand next to a mic stand in front of 70 wooden folding chairs full of north western cuites in hoodies drinking hot tea as often as alchol. The vermillion is a long brick cave with side ways bottles on the walls but its hidden in the back of a video game parlor where all the video games are pushed in to an awkward cluster and not plugged in. I drew the 6 of hearts and Casey the 5 of Diamonds and we immediately traded in secret Then we read the recently discovered parts of our books that we hadn’t read yet.

SO MUCH TALENT IM NOT NAMING YOU ALL CHECK ON TOM’S TUMBLR

1. Tobi Hill Meyers uses math to demonstrate which T chasers on CraigsList are the most deluded complete douch tards.   {44% of trans girls are Bi, 45% get GRS?  32% top regularily? 3% have 8” or bigger clities}

2. Miss Winter tells  what its like being the transsexual in the 11 person collective house who aslo kills mice with her bare hands.

3. SisSy bASS ♥ Sometimes Homeless, Smiles a lot while telling you why she has every reason to be sad, but more likely to get angry ♥

After the jubilant flock of Readers dispersed in to the surrounding crooked streets running up and down lumpy hills. This is the part of town where its cluttered with good looking 27 years old regular guy types with holding hands and grinning bashfully, the gay bars are 40% women,  and there is 5$ octoberfest sausages cooked on an 8 foot long oil drum bbq. Lord Kelving Gimplefich  you might remember from THE COLLECTION. XXXXXXXXX his story of Travis, a self professed runty black trans guy barrista at starbucks trying to do the right thing and emotionally handle his girlfriends single mom girlfriend. The first time I read it I just read it for the part about finding a truck capper for free on a traintrack. Reading it again cuz I’m sleeping on his couch it’s an illuminating consideration of what grown up or growing up means to a trans person, going through puperty a second time in your twenties and having highschool dating drama and responsibility vs running away. Gimplevitch took us to a cheap choizo burrito dive and outlined this hilly towns mover and shaker scene.

1st stop was the PONY where mix drinks hit hard and pbr talls for 3 and there is 999 dicks on the walls. The entire pony is plastered in gay porn and guys are fuking in the photbooth and 30% of the room is girls. There was all these red paint pen drawings of funny animals, some with dicks, that looked like I did them but I don’t even have a red paint pen. I could not be liable. Now that I think of it more better not power drinking trying to keep up with all these writers, I think drawing cartoon animals on top of all the gay porn was a little.. um… I should have drawn more penises… I believe in meshing myself seamlessly with the customs and ways of all these strange towns we bungle in to. Im like Indiana jones with tits.

And Speaking of !!  I didn’t drink that much and I blink and We are at CATHEDRAL at XXXXXX and theres a dozen omfg queen super freaks.  Like nina hagen impregnated leigh bowrey and she laid a clutch of eggs on MINOR STREET. Theres queens with their heads in fishnet bags of stolen weaves and glamor monsters who arnt even human shaped and smiling snarky fags with 8 face piercings. Lord Gimplevitch escorted   Me n Plett through the teknocolour beasties on to a dance floor  with 3 people just dancing all night and 5 other people drinking.

The Djs where playing an insane 2 hour long set of XXXCUNT HOUSE and the Goddess and the Oracle just fuckin lost it! We showed them tattooed gay gay freaks some ABOMINABLombastic CANADIAN VOGUE PUNK. We wacked it till the disco lights fell off the ceiling and balled a hole in the floor and we had a 5 minute stand off of us coming at eachother walk wack screaming BITCH FUCKIGN CUNT FUCKING FUCKING BITCH CUNT burning eyes at each other and every other bitch in the club fell over each other running the hell out the way.

3am  me and Plett was sitting on the patio of the mostly empty club between Lord Gimplevitch and  queen with purple hair, a brown beard,  death metal tats, and sock garters.

passing back and forth a roll of paper towels trying to un sweat ourselves “I guess Canadians ball different than amerikans, which is funny cuz.. well… I dunno new york sumthing.”,  I reflected.

I like the part where technically we both won” grins Plett dumping another bottle of water over her head.

“It must be a VANGUAD thing.” I muse. “we get our projection powers bouncing back and forth of each other like accumulating laser beams inside a mirror ball. Regardless of if we can figure out how to control it we should just do that more often.”

“yeah” smiled Plett straightening her littlest dress and digging through her littlest purse. We should get a copy of the BITCHFUCKINGBITCH song and play it really loud out the car windows when we show up to do a reading.”

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WEST COAST next 5 DAYS I am looking for someone who knows what they are doing to give me a hair cut.

Im looking for someone who identifies as a pro hair cutter, wether I visit you in a shop or somewhere random. I got 50$ on a cut and color. My hair looks like it been sleeping on punk house couches and in cars. Once again. REAL HAIRDRESSERS ONLY. Or imaginary hairdressers with a good portpholio !

CHECK topsidepress.com/tour for when we are in the same town